Mira's Birthday
by dead.but.true
Summary: Another Magical Stoner AU. Lucy, Natsu and Gray go to Mira's birthday party. After they and Erza gave Mira her present, the three sneak away to blaze one. But as they return, Erza awaits them with a great surprise. The game for the evening had been decided, and not everyone will love it...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do bot own Fairy Tail**

 **Warning: Don't do drugs.**

 **A/N: Finally back again! Whenever I was struck by inspiration, I did not have my laptop with me, and now I finally hit inspiration again. This story may or may not somewhat be based on a true story. Next chapter soon, it will be awesome! Enjoy!**

We walked down to the guild. "We" was of course the most-stoned team in Fairy Tail, the fearsome four, Erza, Natsu Gray and me. Well, Erza unwittingly so far, but hey, right? Today was a celebration with a big party afterwards: Mira had birthday.

As we entered the guild, it was already decorated. Large sashes were hung from the walls, and it was lit with magical lights. Every table had a cake baked by Mira – with help of Mary, and a lot of it in it – and plates. Kinana stood behind the counter, ready to pour everyone his drink.

"Hello!", greeted Mira happily.

"Hello Mira!", I said.

"Happy birthday!", we shouted and hugged her.

"Of course we did bring something for you.", said Erza. She gave Mira a basket stuffed with all kinds of sweets. We had made them by ourselves, and had worked diligently for this moment.

"That's so nice! Thanks!", said Mira with her huge, genuine trademark smile. "Enjoy the evening!"

‑

We did enjoy the evening, sipping a beer, eating and just having fun. We had partied for maybe an hour, when Gray nudged me in the side.

"Lucy?", he asked.

"Yeah?", I said.

"I really want to blaze one now.", giggled Gray. Natsu nodded.

"Yeah, Erza is not here right now. We can leave the guild now and stay away for a few minutes.", added Natsu.

"It really is a tempting situation...", I said, trying to decide what was the better decision right now. "Ah, fuck it, let's smoke one."

"I guess you have everything with you?", smiled Gray.

"Of course.", I said with a smirk.

‑

We had left the guild and had walked a few minutes, until we arrived at the cathedral. There we sat down. I pulled out tip, papes, tobacco and my grinder. Putting two buds in, I shredded it for a moment and started to roll one. Licking along the paper, I sealed it. Twirling the left-over paper, I gave it Natsu, she he could light it.

"Man, having a human lighter is really convenient.", said Gray.

"But he tends too overheat the head.", I said. Natsu, who already had taken a hit, smirked. Then he looked at me.

"Is that from Droy?", he asked curiously.

"Nah, bought it from a friend.", I answered.

"Nice one. Which sort?", asked Gray, who was now smoking.

"Haze.", I grinned and took the jay. I inhaled deeply, savoring the taste. I nodded. "Yeah. Haze."

‑

We had smoked the joint and were all pretty intoxicated now. Lying in the grass, looking at the cathedral and the forest, we sighed.

"Ah, that was nice.", said Natsu. I nodded in agreement.

"But we have to go now.", said Gray, after he had looked at the clock tower for nearly a minute.

"Aw man, don't wanna.", I said, but stood up.

"Maybe we should take a little detour? So that we don't get back when we're a little more sober.", suggested Natsu.

"Good idea.", I said. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Just a few strolls through Magnolia, nothing much.", said Natsu. Gray and I nodded.

‑

We walked into an alleyway and looked around.

"So, we go there and then we should get to the market and from there to the guild.", said Gray.

"Okay, let's go.", I said. We walked for a short time, with only occasionally a few words changed. The street lights shone in a halo of orange light and painted every surface with a yellow tint.

"Guys, we went the wrong way.", said Natsu.

"No, it's correct. We walk down here, and then comes the street to the market.", said Gray.

"I don't know...", I said doubtfully.

"It's wrong!", said Natsu.

"It's right!", said Gray.

"Well, let's just go.", I said. "But was this street always like this?"

"Yeah, I know, right? It is more like the other street?", said Natsu.

"Maybe we're in the wrong street? But down there I see the market.", said Gray.

"Is that so?", I asked confused. "The market had this thing in the middle."

"You're right.", said Gray.

"Huh.", was all Natsu said.

‑

We walked for a few moments and indeed, it was the market. We went down another alley that should take us directly to the guild hall.

"Right now it seems like the street is really long.", I said.

"We're normally on a carriage when we take this road.", said Gray, and Natsu contorted his face.

"Yeah, but it's so much longer, you know?", I said.

"Man, it really is. You just look down one second and it seems further away.", said Natsu.

"Funny. I'll try it.", I said and looked down on my feet. Rather than looking up, I made an astonishing discovery. "Guys, the floor moves!"

"What?", asked Gray.

"The ground is moving, but I mean it's not, but it looks like it!", I exclaimed.

"What?", asked Natsu, but looked down. "Shit Lucy, you were right!"

After Gray looked down, we all looked up.

"Oh my God, the guild.", I whispered. "It's right there."

"Finally! I thought this street would never end.", said Natsu.

We entered the guild and were greeted by a smiling Erza. "Where have you been?", she smiled.

"Needed a breath of fresh air?", I asked. Natsu and Gray nodded.

"Is that so. We're about too eat the cake and have a few vocal exercises afterward.", said Erza.

"Karaoke.", I groaned.

"Not again...", sighed Natsu.

"Not Natsu's singing again...", sighed Gray.

"Oi!", yelled Natsu.

Seeing those two get all fired up, Erza and I decided to ditch them and get a slice of cake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

 **Warning: Don't do drugs!**

 **Tip: This story is at its best when read after lighting one**

 **A/N: Yay, second chapter! Wrote this note in advance, you all know why. First a big thanks to RecklessPandamaniac who helped me with the Patois. By the way, I can't rap, so the following parts may be a little strange if you're sober (which we all of course are!). The songs used are "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix and "Punky Reggae Party" by Bob Marley – which I both don't own, obviously – and they are of course cliché songs...but they're great.**

 **For this chapter I did a lot of planning in advance, so I hope it will turn out good. Enjoy!**

After we had sat down, Mira decided to cut the cakes. We took a lice of a strawberry cake. Erza took a bite and smiled.

"So delicious...", she sighed with a blissful face.

"Yeah, it sure is.", I said. "But now I am really thirsty."

"I'll get something to drink.", said Gray and left for the bar. Moments later he returned with four hot chocolates.

" _Very delicious_ hot chocolate.", he said with a grin.

"Oh, it's perfect! Creamy, sweet and a heavenly aftertaste!", said Natsu.

"But there's a strange aftertaste...", said Erza confused.

"It is cocoa.", I said.

"Yeah, cocoa.", said Gray.

"Definitely cocoa.", said Natsu.

"If you say so.", said Erza. She took another sip, sighed happily and continued eating her cake.

"But guys, the last few weeks some really strange things.", she said.

"I don't know what you mean.", I said.

"Like, the dragon quest, you know? And this one time when we ate at the restaurant.", said Erza.

"Oh, you mean _that_. Well, indeed they were funny and confusing. But it's a quest, so that is to be expected.", said Gray.

"I don't know. I just remember that you made a cake and then we went to the restaurant and the bakery where Natsu wanted to eat the fire.", said Erza.

"Yeah, but he couldn't, because else we would've not bought any muffins.", said Gray and we all giggled.

‑

After a few minutes Mira announced the karaoke to start. She took the microphone and started to say: "Thank you all for coming! And thank you for all the lovely presents! Now we will sing a few things. Have fun!"

The lights went off, and Mira started to sing a beautiful song. Her voice was clear and emotional.

"Purple Haze

all in my brain

Lately things they don't seem the same  
Actin' funny, but I don't know why  
Excuse me while I kiss the sky

Purple haze

all around  
Don't know if I'm comin' up or down  
Am I happy or in misery?  
What ever it is, that girl put a spell on me"

"That was fantastic!", everybody cheered and clapped their hands furiously.

"Thank you!", smiled Mira. She grabbed into a box and withdrew a note. "Next one is Erza!"

"Me? Oh my God, I'm so excited.", said Erza she went onto the stage.

"I will sing a song that I only heard recently, but the lyrics are perfect for this occasion!", said Erza and started to sing.

"New wave, new phrase  
New wave, new craze  
We're going to the party  
And I hope you are hardy  
So please don't be naughty  
For it's a punky reggae party  
New wave, new craze  
New wave, new phrase

It takes a joyful sound  
To make the world go 'round  
Come with your heart and soul  
Come 'a come and rock your boat  
It's a punky reggae party  
And it's tonight  
It's a punky reggae party  
And it's alright"

"That was perfect!", I said.

"Yep.", agreed Natsu and Gray.

Erza went to the box and grabbed the next note.

"Aaand now...Gajeel!", announced Erza.

Gajeel was on the stage in mere seconds, wearing his suit and hat.

"Boo!", yelled Natsu.

"What was that?", shouted Gajeel.

"You heard me!", said Natsu.

"Really? Now hear what _I_ have to say!", yelled Gajeel and grabbed the microphone.

"I come into the guild yelling "shoobidoo"

from zero to hero, here's the new MC

dropping bars like bombs, brought my homie with me

Pantherlily, that's my iron lion pal

we are rocking piercings, white suits, badass shades

and if you don't like it, suck my metal pole!"

He grinned at Natsu.

"Pff, I can do that way better than you!", said Natsu, got onto the stage and took the microphone and started to rap.

"One, two, three and to the four

Natsu Dragneel is at the door

can't do nothing against my dragon roar

spitting rhymes hot like dragon fire

blazin' fire like Inner Circle

who's the bad boy now?"

"Yeah, can't fuck with that!", said Natsu. Gray scoffed.

"All you sing about is fire here, fire there. That was crap!", said Gray.

"Oh yeah, think you're better than me, huh? Try and fail!", said Natsu and tossed Gray the microphone.

Gray sighed and began his part.

"Just talkin' 'bout fire, dude, you need to chill

don't worry, you can suck my ice popsicle

ain't no vanilla ice though, and no fruit juice

cause I'm shooting ice tea from my huge ice cubes

frosty rhymes straight outta the Fairy Tail hood"

Gray smirked and dropped the microphone to the ground. A screech was audible as he grinned at Natsu.

"That's what I call some genius bars!", laughed Gray.

"Guys, chill.", I intervened. "Let's be all cool, right? Let me sing"

"Mi take deh mic

mi wan fi sing

mi roll a blunt an forget all dem dings

mi a 'ave a weed jam tonight

council ah Babylon system

downpress de Ghanja

Masta luk like Jah

mi nuh care bout dah law

mi jus' wan fi feel irie when mi smoke deh herb

wi a gaan nyam da dingki dough"

After I sung my song, I smiled. Everybody cheered. I bowed a little.

"Lucy, that was great!", said Natsu.

"You were excellent!", said Gray.

"Yeah, it was nice.", scoffed Gajeel.

‑

We had got off stage, and walked back to our table.

"And what now?", asked Natsu.

"Hm, we could smoke a little hookah.", I said. Recently we all had started smoking hookah. Even Erza was fine with it.

"I'll fetch one.", said Natsu and stood up. He returned after a few minutes and carried a hookah.

"So, we have tobacco with the taste, watermelon, with berries, with ice tea and herbs.", said Gray, until he remembered that Erza was here.

"Herb?", asked Erza curiously.

"Yeah, a new mixture!", I said quickly. "It's smoked a little different, but tastes great!"

"Well, then we should try herbs.", said Erza with a smile. Natsu, Gray and I swallowed hard.

Unfortunate like we were, we started putting a buds in the head.

"What about the coal?", I whispered.

"We can't! It's like bong!", whispered Gray.

"I guess it's my job then?", sighed Natsu.

‑

"We're finished.", said Natsu. "Now I just have to light it."

"Why? Have you forgotten the coal?", asked Erza.

"Erh...yeah?", said Natsu cautiously.

"Oh. Okay.", said Erza and grabbed the tube.

"Is it okay if I start?", she asked.

"Go ahead.", I nodded. Erza took a deep puff and exhaled slowly.

"Taste's a little off...but it certainly is good.", sighed Erza. "And it tastes a little familiar."

"Does it?", I asked and took the tube from her. I inhaled deeply, tasting the delicious flavor and exhaled slowly. "Damn, that's good..."

"Yeah, it's fucking great.", confirmed Gray, after he took a hit.

‑

After everyone had a few hits – and we were incredibly stoned – we leaned back on the benches.

"Everything's just great...", I sighed.

"Mhm.", agreed Erza with a hum.

"Guys, I want to do something really crazy now.", I said with a giggle.

"Like what?", asked Natsu.

"We could, you know, like, climb on the cathedral?", suggested Gray.

"Nah man, don't wanna get up now.", sighed Natsu.

"Yeah.", said Erza.

"Why don't we watch a movie?", I suggested.

"What about TV shopping?", giggled Natsu.

"Man, that's a great idea!", agreed Gray.

Slowly we stood up and moved to the back, where we had a few lacrima screens.

‑

"That was interesting, but not so funny...", said Gray.

"Yeah, but I loved the quiz show guy flip out.", grinned Natsu. "Animal with one 'e'...'deer'..."

"Yeah, those people were really stupid. And the guy who called like twenty times was funny too.", I smiled.

"Why don't we watch something on the internet, then?", asked Erza. "I know some good videos!"

We browsed the internet and looked up a few series.

"This one is from a movie franchise about a boy who survived and became mage. There are five movies with a new synchronization out, I prefer the fifth.", said Erza. "There's also one about this guy who owns a magical ring. The ring is from an evil guy, but he has the strange but awesome ability to constantly be stoned."

"Woah, that's some strange shit.", I said. "Oh, look, there are some cartoon parodies!"

"Oh, those two series. The protagonist is a vampire, the other one is in a different world and fights with a sword. I really like those series.", explained Erza.

"Amazing...", muttered Natsu. "Let's watch the fifth movie of this boy about this scarred wizard!"

‑

We had some great laughs. The jokes were funny and they changed a few things.

"Hah, we should totally do that again.", sighed Gray.

"Why not? I'll fetch some snacks and drinks and the hookah.", said Natsu and left.

"Ah, it's round two then...", I smiled.

 **A/N: This note wasn't written in advance...but because of my script I thought of a few good videos. I think you all know which movies were parodied (everything's on youtube!), but only the two anime are in English – unfortunately. And the joke with the quiz show...well, I hoped I translated it right. Oh oh, last thing, I promise. I decided to make a third chapter. Have fun with that...**


End file.
